Relationship Savvy


Aug 18 2008

What to Do when a “Date” Starts Harassing You Online

Published by Author under Christian Dating

Did you just experience a date that ended a little more roughly than you would have liked?  As in, now your dream date is a nightmare since they have begun harassing you online.  This is not the way in which we would have liked our date to end with the person, especially if it is someone that we were not entirely interested in to begin with.  However, this does not mean that you have to give in to the constant harassment and annoying behavior of the other person.  They are only located online.

While it would be easier to have a restraining order put in place on the individual if they were performing harassing maneuvers in the real world, they are only being an annoyance online, and this does not always deserve the same type of punishment in most matters.  Instead, it is very easy for an individual to put a block on the screen name of this person.  Some people may then actually create another screen name in order to see if you are still online, or they may ask a friend to check and see if you are available, in order to determine whether or not you are blocking them.  If their friend can see that you are available, this may inspire the harassing individual to create another screen name to contact you on.  Because of this, it may be beneficial to, at least for a few weeks, block everyone from seeing your online status unless they are on your buddy list.  This means that only the people that you have listed as your friends will be able to converse with you, as well as see whether or not you are online.

Dating sites also will almost always offer to block certain individuals from writing to you using their site, or messaging you on the same site.  If you are not on a dating site that offers this, you can email and ask them to block this person from being able to contact you.  In most cases, this will work very well and the individual will be banned from communicating with you.  If it turns out that this horrible date gone awry has your email address, you can also block this person from emailing you as well.

Some people will not immediately suggest the blocking idea.  In some cases, individuals will suggest that you first talk to the individual and tell them that what they are doing is inappropriate and that you want nothing more to do with them.  However, this may just incite the individual more.  For this reason, blocking the individual without further contact may be the best, or only, option.  You do not have to be nice all the time.  When an individual is really bothering you, you do not have to be mean and list their every flaw and annoying characteristic for them.  However, you can simply block them and you have no reason to feel guilty about doing this, because it is the way in which you are able to protect yourself and make sure that you are living in a manner that is able to keep you happy and content, not annoyed and troubled by some person that you have no intention of every seeing again.

Some people on the Internet truly are bad news.  Everyone appreciates attention, but we do not want that to come from a source that confuses idle chit chat with harassment.  Block the person in every way you can think of, and then you do not have to deal with them anymore and your harassment issue will be solved.

No responses yet

Aug 16 2008

Where To Find Divorce Help

Published by Author under Divorce

Do you want to get divorced, but you’re not sure how to start the process? You don’t know if you need to get a lawyer, or how much it will cost, or when you should tell your spouse about your decision, or whether your spouse has to agree to a divorce. You need divorce help.

Your Spouse Wants To Get Divorced

You also need divorce help if your spouse has just told you that he or she wants a divorce, and you feel too paralyzed to do anything about it. Oftentimes, the other spouse does not want a divorce, and didn’t even see it coming. They feel blindsided. They don’t know what will happen next, or how to make sure they get everything they are entitled to. A parent staying at home with children who has foregone employment opportunities is especially vulnerable and needs divorce help in this situation.

Both Husband And Wife Want To Get Divorced

The other kind of people who need divorce help are couples who, acting together, agree that their marriage is irretrievably broken and they both decide, virtually at the same time, that divorce is the best next step for them to take. They are disappointed in themselves, but they are both ready to move on.

Free Resources

Divorce laws change from state to state. Rules and restrictions that apply to residents of New York who are getting divorced are drastically different than the rules and restrictions that apply, for instance, to residents of California. Divorce help should be local help. That said, there are many self-help web sites that answer basic questions about divorce. Many questions can be answered just by typing them into a search engine like Google or Yahoo.

However, the best free resource may be the web site for the state courts in your state. Divorce actions are always filed in state court – not federal court. Virtually every state or county court web site has a section on divorces. There you will find answers to questions about filing fees, waiting periods, forms, whether you must appear before a judge, how you can do it yourself, and so forth. Do not overlook this valuable resource for divorce help!

Paid Resources

If you have children, or if you have a home or land or significant debt, you will probably need to pay for divorce help in the form of a counselor, a mediator, a lawyer, or all three. Some say a common rule of thumb is to look at the cost of your wedding, divide it by one-half, and that is approximately how much your divorce will cost. This isn’t always true, but generally speaking, anyone who can afford a lavish wedding will have monetary assets that merit spending enough money on a divorce to make sure that you don’t go broke.

No responses yet

Aug 16 2008

Where To Find Genealogy Records

Published by Author under Genealogy

As you begin your search for your own history, you know that there are plenty of places that you can look. There are many places where you will be able to find the genealogy records that you are searching for. These genealogy records are going to give you an idea of where you came from, and who brought you here.

Start With Yourself

You might not know it, but you are going to be the first place you look for genealogy records. You probably have much more information about your family than you  might think. You should be able to find lots of good genealogy records that you can search from, and this can be a great way for you to start. After you have gone as far back as you can go, you want to look at the other various types of genealogy records that your family might have. Talk to your living relatives and see what genealogy information that they might have. There also might be documents and other pieces of information that you can find that will help you in your quest for the genealogy records to fill in the blanks.

After you have exhausted everything that you can find with your family, it is time to start with some other information. You want to be extra sure that as you are searching for genealogy records you are looking in all of the right places. The first place to check is with the social security offices. They can give information about all of the people who have had social security numbers. This will take you back several generations ,and will have more information for you.

After you have finished there, it is time to move onto the death and birth records. These can be found with cities, states, and even counties. These are all going to be able to give you clues that you can go with, as all of the births and deaths were usually recorded somewhere.

When you have gone as far as you can go, don’t forget about the church. The churches that your ancestors went to are often going to have much more information for you. They will often have several generations of information that you can find, so you should look into them for your genealogy records. This is often going to be the best place for you to find genealogy records. If you don’t know what church they want to, you can start looking at a lot of them.

No responses yet

Aug 16 2008

Great First Date Ideas for the Single Christian

Published by Author under Christian Dating

First dates totally set the mood for many different types of things, and we are all looking to set the mood perfectly when it comes to our first dates.  This is, most often, because you only have one chance to make a great first impression.  When a person does not put forth the effort, and they come up short at the end of the date, they are probably fairly easily able to understand that in many cases.

However, when we are able to come up with a great idea for the first date, it is more likely that things are going to be able to take off from there.  This is what we are all trying to achieve, and these great ideas can help.  First of all, we want to avoid movies at all costs.  This is because many people make it a first date option, and the truth is that there is virtually no opportunity for the people to talk during this activity.  Especially when it comes to the first date, this is when people are trying to get to know each other and they are not able to do so to any capacity when they go to see a movie, aside from potentially learning whether the date prefers popcorn, candy or both.

Instead, here are some of the better choices for couples to consider when it comes to their first date, if they want to have the chance to really get to know each other.  Coffee in the mid-afternoon is a great idea.  There are a number of cafes that will serve coffee, tea, hot chocolate and other assorted drinks, and the set up is often able to accommodate almost any type of meeting.  This allows individuals to sit and talk, and while there is something to distract the individuals, their drinks, there is nothing that would prohibit them from conversing.  When people go out to eat, they can be nervous and not actually want to eat, which can but a less comfortable spin on the date to begin with.  Meeting for an hour or so for a drink of coffee is great.  While others may prefer bars or cocktails for a drink after work, this is not the best idea because of the impaired condition that some people have as a result of alcohol.  Additionally, there are some bars that are just too crowded to sit down and talk.

Single Christians may also enjoy meeting on the beach’s boardwalk in order to enjoy the sun, surf and walk.  This is a great place to just walk and talk to their heart’s content which is often a great thing for many people, and it is a nice way to stay active and distracted in the capacity, while enabling the couple to talk.  Church is a nice thing to attend together, but not as a first date.  Instead, why not meet after Church, either to discuss the readings that were a part of the mass or to simply get a small breakfast at a café or doughnut shop.  After many masses, the Churches will actually offer events for parishioners, which can be a fun first date activity for people that are passionate about that type of thing.  As a last great idea for single Christians that are looking to have a great time with other like-minded individuals, there are a number of people that might enjoy the idea of meeting for an arcade game or board game experience.  Some people can meet at the mall at an arcade, while other people can meet at the park in order to play a simple board game.  The activity can also take place in a less neutral environment, such as one of the individual’s homes, should they decide that that option would be the best idea.

No responses yet

Aug 15 2008

The Pros and Cons of Using a Christian Dating Service

Published by Author under Christian Dating

For many of people, they feel that when they are destined to meet the right person, nothing will be able to stand in their way.  There is someone that you are meant to find and eventually you will.  But what are you supposed to do when you are single, Christian and looking to meet someone new?  Are you really prepared to take the matter out of God’s hands and actively start seeking someone to spend time with as you see fit?  That is the premise of a Christian Dating Service, which is actually trying to match individuals with a common thread that is of the utmost importance – that of a common faith.  Still, like almost every situation in life, there are pros and cons to this matter that will need to be explored.

Some of the pros of this type of thing would be that individuals would not have to worry about explaining their faith to each other.  It will also give them an important link together, not just in general, but in a tangible way.  They will be able to find someone that is able to understand how precious everything in the world is, and they will be able to communicate not only with each other, but with God as well.  Going to Church together is often something that is important, and will help to shape and mold their relationship in an important way.  For many people, this will also be comforting in that the other person will understand and be tolerant of the ways in which the individuals in the relationship are willing to and able to express their love to each other.  A lot of people do not wait as long as they should in order express their love physically, and this is something that a lot of Christians are willing to wait on.  If many people are intolerant of this, it makes it much more difficult to avoid arguments that are directly related to the matter at hand.

When it comes to drawbacks of this type of meeting place, you all know that meeting people that you have met online does carry some risk in it.  This is why you need to be especially careful whenever planning to so something like that.  A person can pretend they are anyone when they are protected by the anonymity of the Internet, and this is taken advantage of by some people.  Just because it is a Christian dating site does not mean that it has no predators.  Being careful and being prepared can help, but not all situations can be dissolved of with those two actions.  Additionally, this type of site may cost money each month that the member chooses to remain a part of the dating service site.  As a less expensive alternative, many people might consider joining the dating possibilities within their own Church.  Many parishes will actually have dating options available for their members, and this probably does not cost anything for most people.

Comparing the pros and cons of any decision is an important step to make in order to inform the individual of specifically what they may want to be aware of when it comes to the situation that is being considered.  It can help determine for the individual whether or not the attempt is worthwhile and it also puts the situation in a more objective position in order to be analyzed.  Thanks to this, you can be sure that the individual is working towards whichever option is genuinely in their best interest, even when it comes to Christian dating services online and the reasons that people do and would be willing to meet online through this method.

No responses yet

Aug 13 2008

Differences in Christian Courtship versus the Dating Scene

Published by Author under Christian Dating

Christian courtship and the more mainstream dating scene are known to be fairly different and for the fact that many people are unable to entirely understand Christian courtship because of the fact that they are unable to understand that there are not that many differences between the two scenes. While the dating scene in general may seem to be a little too cold and general, it is still very possible to find the similarities. Christian courtship, many people may decide, requires and individual to make sure that they are not only looking for someone that is looking for the real deal in the big picture, but mainstream dating is, almost always, eventually trying to locate this same goal in one point of time or another.

Another main difference that people will be tripping all over themselves to point out does lie in the physical limitations of the individuals involved in the Christian relationship as opposed to those, which are put forth in more of the pop culture-dating scene. In a culture that screams sex sells, you are limited when it comes to the people that you can say you know are virgins by the time we are in our mid-20s, regardless of the religion, age, and relationship status of our friends. So, while mainstream dating will say that sex is something that almost everyone will experience in one way or another prior to getting married, there are a number of situations in which we will see that the Christian courtship proceedings limit the act of sexual intercourse until after the couple has been married.

Still, what you practice and what you preach is often different, and in this type of instance it is hard to say whether or not this is a huge difference. Most people, regardless of what type of courtship they are trying to pursue, will come to this simple type of conclusion: When an individual is considering going out on a date with anyone, they will make sure that they are in love with the other person, and that the other person is in love with them, before they will consent to having sex with the other person. Even then, it will depend on the level to which the individual is passionate about their Christian religion. While some Churches will argue that condoms and other forms of birth control are not what God had in mind when he designed the act of physical love and the results of such types of actions, other Churches will promote sex with birth control outside of marriage or prior to marriage to be preferred when compared to “unsafe sex”, or birth control free sexual intercourse.

Again, these particulars will depend on the individuals that are actually involved in the relationship and in a lot of cases it is much less a matter of what religion a person is as compared to what the individual person believes. Right now it is much more difficult to look at these groups of people in a generalized form as opposed to an individual basis, simply because it is so difficult for many people to be able to compromise when it comes to their religion, our culture, and their personal beliefs on a matter – meaning what feels right or moral to them, the individual person being questioned.

When we break it down to the individual levels, you are able to get more specific answers that would help you understand more as to what people involved in the dating scene are interested in attaining when they begin to get involved in a serious relationship as opposed to a casual dating experience, which seems to be one of the key points of distinction between “courtship” and “dating scene”. Individual intentions need to be considered in order to maintain accuracy.

No responses yet

Aug 12 2008

Obtaining Divorce Court Records

Published by Author under Divorce

Divorce laws are different in every state; no two states are the same. Some states have no-fault laws while other states require one party to have done something cruel or unusual to their spouse before a divorce will be granted.

When it comes to dividing property, some states have community property laws, and other states have equitable distribution laws. Thus, there is no typical divorce file. However, there are certain divorce court records that seem to be in the case file in every case. The end of a marriage can generate a lot of paperwork.

A Typical File

Going through a typical divorce court record, the same documents will appear in just about every file. First, there is the summons and complaint, followed by the answer or response and counterclaim.  There are the mediation orders and the restraining orders.

If the couple getting divorced one party requests child or spousal support from the other party, there are motions, cross-motions, affidavits for support, budgets, and so forth. These are all part of the divorce court record. These are public records; they are accessible to anyone who walks in off the street and asks for the file.

Having all this information available to the public is a strong motivational deterrent for many people who do not want their private income and expense information to become part of the public divorce court record.

Trial Records

If a married couple cannot agree on how to divide their property, on who should get custody of their children, or on how much support should be paid, the court holds a trial. At trial, the judge hears both sides’ account of what happened and of how each party wants the divorce to turn out: what property they want to receive; what support they want to pay or receive; and what child custody or visitation they want the judge to award.

Final Records

When the trial is over, or, if there is no trial, when the couple has decided how to apportion their property, their income, and their children between themselves, a final divorce decree is entered in the divorce court records. Most states tack on a waiting period after the decree is signed before it becomes final, so that any couples who acted hastily and have second thoughts about whether they really want a divorce have one last opportunity to reverse the process.

When obtaining divorce court records to prove income, to prove marital status, or to resume a former married name or maiden name, the best record to have is a certified copy of the divorce decree. Every person who gets divorced should have one, and should keep it in a safety deposit box or another secure location.

No responses yet

Aug 12 2008

Genealogy History: A Fascinating Pastime

Published by Author under Genealogy

Genealogy history is something that is sure to keep you occupied trying to find out whether your forefathers were fighting in the civil war or whether they came from the “old country” on a sailing ship and did not have much money in their pockets. You may want to know about the female side of your family and would love to learn what your grandmother and her grandmother did for a living, and once you get stuck into genealogy history, you will be fascinated by the type and amount of information that it will throw up.

An Archaeological Digging Of Sorts

You could even start a search of genealogy history with some small number of names and dates which can soon turn into a veritable archaeology digging of sorts, and finding out more about your genealogy history is possible in more ways than one. If you are lucky, you may even have an old and handwritten birth certificate with which to begin your search though it is not all that difficult to find birth and death certificates if your family members were from the country that you live in.

You could even use old letters as a starting point to trace your genealogy history, and maybe your parents have stored some information about your ancestors, or you may want to check out your local historical society in your town or city who may be able to shed light on where your ancestors lived.

Of course, in this day and age of the Internet, it too provides valuable information that will help you in finding out more about your genealogy history and there are many sites that hold information about people that have arrived in your town or city. In fact, you could get on to AOL and find a site where all you need to do is input the name and birth as well as death information pertaining to your ancestors and look to see if they have any information in this regard.

You could even find certain sites that hold information about genealogy history by countries while other sites will provide you facilities to view information that other people have dug up, though some of these sites may require you to enroll as a member before you can dig into their databases.

The bottom line is that once you get your genealogy history out, you can then leave for your children a legacy that will help them understand who they are and where they came from, though finding out more about genealogy history does require a certain degree of skill, especially with regard to researching and you should know how to take down notes and verify records to succeed in your endeavors.

No responses yet

Aug 12 2008

Ten Tips for Teen Christian Dating

Published by Author under Christian Dating

If you are entering into the world of Christian dating, you might find that you don’t really know what you are doing, or that you are frightened of what the outcomes might be. This is a normal fear; everyone who starts dating feels this way at one point or another. The trick is figuring out how to control this fear and to not let it control you and who you are as a person.

There are ten basic tips that you should keep in mind when you are Christian dating.

First of all, keep your mind open to other possibilities. Don’t settle for the first person that comes your way, and don’ t think that just because you’ve had coffee with them this means you should marry them. It might happen that you fall for your first date, but don’t limit yourself to being with the first person you go out with.

Secondly, don’t assume that just because they say they are Christian they believe the same way that you do. Discuss beliefs and make sure that both of you have the same feelings about issues that are very important. Remember that the Christian dating scene can incorporate people with all different kinds of beliefs. Make sure that yours matches before you go father.

Thirdly, remember not to date someone who wants you to change who you are. This is important in all aspects of dating. Someone who decides that you are not good enough and must change is not incorporating the true Christian values and you shouldn’t date them.

Fourth, listen to your friends and family. Sometimes when you start to date someone you might not recognize certain things about them or behaviors about them. If your friends and family don’t like someone, there is probably a reason. Ask them to explain what they don’t like about the person you are dating to you, and be sure that you listen to them.

Fifth, don’t date someone who asks you to do something that is against any of your beliefs. This should be a rule in all dating, but in Christian dating it is very important because your beliefs should be at the basis of your dating life, and they shouldn’t be compromised for anyone.

Sixth, be sure that you know the person and their friends and family well before you begin to date someone seriously. Their friends and family compromise a lot about who they are, and you should know them before you are seriously involved with someone. If your date won’t introduce you to their friends or family, keep your eye out because something might be wrong.

Seventh, be sure that you are always honest with your Christian dating. Never tell a lie and be sure that you know they are being honest as well. Honesty is the basis of any good relationship, and it should be the basis of all of your Christian dating.

Eighth, talk about things with your Christian date. Ask them how they feel about certain issues and have a conversation. Remember that if it is an issue that isn’t the most important thing in your life, you don’t always need to agree on everything, but you do need to be able to talk about it between yourselves, even if you have different viewpoints.

Ninth, discuss things like sex and marriage before you get to the point where it becomes an issue. Make your date aware of your personal beliefs and leave it at that. If someone won’t date you because of a way you personally believe, you probably aren’t going to want to be with that person for the long term.

And finally, have fun! Remember that Christian dating is something that should be the beginning of a great phase in your life. Enjoy yourself and allow yourself to have fun with your dates. This time in your life is all about exploring who you are in the presence of others.

No responses yet

Aug 10 2008

Volunteers Fill Void for Seniors Needing Aid, Companionship

Published by Jennifer under Senior Living, Volunteering

After living on her own in senior housing for 26 years, Cornelia Kane turns to volunteer Barbar Ginhardt of Little Brothers - Friends of the Elderly for help and support.

After living on her own in senior housing for 26 years, Cornelia Kane turns to volunteer Barbar Ginhardt of Little Brothers - Friends of the Elderly for help and support.

After more than a quarter century living on her own in senior housing, 95-year-old Cornelia Kane of Philadelphia finally needed help. “I used to be able to do things myself, but now with my health concerns, I need more assistance,” she says. Kane’s situation represents a growing need among America’s seniors – not ready to live with full-time care, many still need a helping hand to get through daily routines.

By 2030, the number of Americans 80 and older is expected to rise from 9.3 million (in 2000) to 10.5 million, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. With this increased average life span, comes an increased demand on resources from health to social services. Volunteer-based organizations like Little Brothers – Friends of the Elderly (LBFE), who assist Kane in her Philadelphia home, are stepping in to fill a growing need.

“Just hearing her voice makes me feel good,” Kane says about the LBFE volunteer who visits her. “My family all live a long distance and come to stay with me when they can. Yet having someone to check on me every day, even if it’s just to talk, is a real jewel in my life.”

The effects of an aging population resonate with organizations like Little Brothers – Friends of the Elderly. For most of its eight chapters in the US, the average age of the seniors the group serves has risen to 85, with an increasing number of their elders approaching centenarian status. For example, in the agency’s Philadelphia chapter, 20 percent of the “old friends” to which they provide services are over the age of 90. LBFE has even had instances where their visiting volunteers are seeing two generations of one family.

“It is important when we think of the needs of older adults today that we focus not just on their physical needs, but also on the importance of companionship and friendship,” says Lea Ames, national executive director of LBFE.

Older Americans spend less time socializing and communicating as they age, according to the “Older Americans 2008: Key Indicators of Well-Being” report issued by the Federal Interagency Forum on Aging-Related Statistics. In fact, Americans between 55 and 64 spend 13 percent of their leisure time doing activities like visiting friends and attending social events, while that proportion decreases to10 percent for those 75 years and older.

Isolation and loneliness can produce emotional pain as well as mental and physical deterioration. Social networking can have a positive impact on the health and well-being of seniors. University of Chicago researchers found that lonely older adults had greater age-related increases in blood pressure and poorer sleep quality than elderly who are more socially active.

So what can you do to help?

* Perhaps you have an elderly neighbor that doesn’t have the support of family or friends in the area or an older adult that you regularly see in the grocery store on their own. See if they would be interested in having someone visit them or help out with errands. Community service starts with one person, one action.

* Intergenerational relationships can have a positive impact on older and younger adults. Consider organizing a group of students from the local school or a scout troop to come visit older adults in your community’s senior housing project or assisted living facility.

* If you have a parent or older relative that lives a longer distance from you and needs companionship or assistance, contact the local Chamber of Commerce to see if there are services or agencies, such as Little Brothers – Friends of the Elderly. For more information, visit www.littlebrothers.org or call (312) 786-1032.

* Don’t underestimate the impact that companionship or a friendly gesture can have on someone, especially an older adult who may lack strong social networks. Reach out to that person — think of how your life will be enriched making a new friend and helping out someone at the same time.

Courtesy of ARAcontent

No responses yet

« Prev - Next »