No one likes being dumped.  In fact, you all pretty much try to avoid it in any way possible.  However, there are few things that we can do after this almost inevitable, at some point in our lives, moment occurs, and this can help us to move on in an entirely healthy and amicable way.  First of all, not everyone is able to be friends with the individual that just dumped them.  This is tested time and time again because of the fact that many people will, in the same breath as telling the other person that they want to see other people, say they would really like to remain friends.  Do not feel guilty in saying that you need to think about it if you do.

Also, do not feel pressured to say yes, and it is vital that you not say yes in order to keep your dreams alive of that individual changing their mind and seeing the truth and running back to you after they think about everything that they have missed.  One of the first things that the individual needs to do is to make sure that they surround themselves with friends and family that will understand them and help them.  No one likes to feel like a mope, and since you rarely feel gleeful right after a breakup, you do need to be careful in order to make sure that you are not too much of a downer on anyone else, but also that you are able and willing to make sure that we do not let ourselves stew in your own misery for too long.  Getting involved with people that truly do love you for everything that you are and everything that you represent is one of the most healing things imaginable.

Next, while everyone loves to play the “What is [so and so] doing now?” Game, it is very important that the person who was dumped focus on themselves.  The other person is fine, we’re sure of it.  Not great, but they made this decision, so we just need to come to terms with this and move on in order to make sure that we do what is best for you and that you have the time and mentality to go ahead with this, without letting the other person weigh you down in any way.

In some cases, breakups are no big deal and in other cases they seem to be life shattering.  The degree to which one feels upset will likely be very heavily dependent upon this.  If the sadness is overwhelming to the point that the individual is not able to stand it, then they may be forced to, or at the very least encourage to, go to see a therapist in order to allow themselves the opportunity to heal.  In many cases, this need to heal comes as a result of not the other person leaving them, but simply the individual’s inability to feel whole or complete as they are.  Instead, they felt reliant upon the other person in order to function and feel worthwhile.  As they learn to embrace themselves as the maker of their own destiny they will be able to learn that it is not the other person that was able to make them feel so special, but merely the qualities that they saw in the other person, which they may have felt were not something that they could find in themselves.  By learning and growing, sometimes with the aid of a specialist, the individual is eventually able to see the good and important things that they had once relied on are very easily found inside their own self.

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